This is Not You
by ZeldaChao19
Summary: Slight Royai / She cared for him far too much to watch him be consumed by vengeances piercing claws. - Oneshot. Chapter 94 spoilers. Rated T for language.


**This is Not You**

* * *

_"He's one flame from being gone forever. I don't need nor want your help. Lower your gun."_

_"I'm afraid I can't do that, sir. Please, open your hand."_

His words wouldn't sway her; she was not going to allow him to betray himself, to waste his sanity on something as diminutive, as pathetic, as insignificant as this _thing._ Roy Mustang would not lower himself to such a level. This was not the same Colonel she had followed without question, year after year, so loyally, always ready to obey his commands – this was one she would astutely disobey. She would not allow him to transform into the ravenous monster she could see peeking through to the surface of his cool exterior. God knows what would happen if she let him finish the creature off; she didn't want to think about it but she knew, _she knew_, the result on his stability would be anything but positive. If there was a way to pull him free of the madness he was drowning in, she would do it. Anything. She cared for him far too much to watch him be consumed by vengeances piercing claws. While she, Riza Hawkeye, was present it was not under any circumstances going to happen.

_._

_"Shit, you two are togeth—"_

_Bang._

_"Just kidding. Well, thanks for falling for it. Now do me another favour and die."_

The bitch must have fired those infuriating things at him a few dozen bloody times before she gave him even a slight chance to utter a word. A tight-knit string of cusses shot through his head, resting on the tip of his tongue after ever momentary cease-fire but never given the time to escape. The bullets turned his power of regeneration into a joke too, the bullets penetrating time after time. When given a seconds relief, he viciously extended his arm towards her, hell-bent on causing as much damage to the little _bitch_ as physically possible. As luck would have it, he managed to knock the blasted gun from her hands, but she only pulled out another – where the hell did she keep those _goddamn things!_ – and proceeded to shoot him again, again, _and again_. He was in absolute agony by now and well-aware that she wasn't doing to stop any time soon. The cow left no gap in between her shots, no chance for him to heal, no loophole and, frankly, he was_ fucking sick of it._

_._

_"I'll bring you to your precious Colonel…_

_One limb at a time!"_

She waited for him to spit a sequence of joyous insults at her. His mouth opened again only for his gloating to be cut short by the flames that erupted through the open corridor between her and Envy, cutting them apart from one another. His arm disintegrated to blackened ashes at once and she took a breath for what felt like the first time. The disorientating blur that had been occupying her mind slowly began to fade, dizziness ebbing away. The flash of light obscured her vision but it was clear that the creature was being burned violently before her. Her chest grew heavy. How could she call herself his Lieutenant? She hardly did her job of protector correctly; he was almost constantly her saviour, especially when it involved the Homunculi. How could she keep her promises to him when she was so defenceless?

.

_"This is your real form? How ugly._

_I understand why you were called 'Envy'. Envy is truly an ugly emotion._

_Get the fuck out of my sight, Envy."_

She could no longer watch him sink into insanity. As he readied himself to strike the final blow on the feeble creature at his feet, she made her move; swift as ever, in spite of the pain, she forced herself up from the ground and stationed herself behind him. Something had to be done to stop him, to clear his mind and bring him back to reality. Without a second's hesitation, she clicked her gun into place at the back of his head, just as she had done to the Homunculus mere moments ago. The Colonel's reaction was nauseatingly similar – it did more than startle her how in tune their reactions were. He stiffened, hand freezing. She took a ragged breath, exhaled tensely. _Steady. _His head turned just a fraction to make eye contact with her. The look he gave her sent shivers down her spine.

.

_"You focus too much on your target!_

_Bitch!"_

She had paused to reload, just a fraction of a second, but still too late to continue her barricade of bullets. His arm had transformed and her realisation came far too late to evade his grasp. She lost balance as it wrapped itself around her, knocking her to the floor with an agonising _crunch. _Her vision flashed red. Pain _wasn't her priority_, she reminded herself. She masked the sharp ache to a dull throbbing at the back of her mind while searching for her gun, her protection. Upon finding it gone from her side she felt a humiliating feeling of defencelessness wash over her, only to be stopped when the ache in her head returned acutely and her thoughts wavered. Her sight misted over as her lungs depleted themselves of oxygen. Her skin plucked with bruises as Envy applied pressure around her neck. She found herself hopelessly gasping for breath through the clamp, suffocating. His maniacal laughter rang in her ears, louder and louder until it was the only thing she could sense.

_._

_"That's one of my dearest Subordinates you're attacking._

_No more recklessness, Lieutenant. I told you, I'll kill him myself."_

_"God dammit! Don't you dare look down on me!"_

Another snap of his fingers and the room danced alight once more, flames licking at Envy, burning him for the hundredth time that evening. There was nothing to see but pure vengeance in Roy Mustang's eyes. The weight on her chest increased tenfold as it overwhelmed him, that inner demon controlling and changing him. _Corrupting him._ He had only one goal and no doubts that he wouldn't reach it there, that very night. She watched aghast as Envy's skin peeled away from his body, his bones revealing themselves and charring, his body fading into nothing. Her eyes had been trained to handle these sights - but this was different. It was carried out with such purposefulness that it made her sick to her stomach. Feeling bile rise in her throat, she only just noticed when a minute creature fled from the ash, dragging its tiny body across the blood-smeared ground. Its curses were continuous until the Colonel laid his foot above it. It turned frail, words drowned out by the look of utmost malevolence in Roy Mustang's eyes. Her stomach tightened.

_._

_"Stay close to me, Lieutenant. Come on."_

_Click._

He froze up. Without a moments delay she had placed the barrel of her gun to his head, prepared to fire at any given moment. She had barely even waited until the words were out of his mouth, dammit. His body became considerably rigid as he bit down the burn of rage that welled up inside of him and turned to glance at her. The smile plastered on her face unnerved him, unnaturally welcoming. He had never seen the blonde's face like this before; as far as he knew she was forever straight-faced, no-nonsense, keeping her feelings shrouded under the surface. What had happened to her poker face? A shred of realisation filtered into his mind under that gaze of hers but quickly evaporated as her eyes piercing through him, seeing right through his disguise. He had kept himself in character, had he not? That bastard was so simple to get under wraps, what the _fuck_ had he done wrong?

_._

_"What is the meaning of this, Lieutenant?"_

_"That's enough, Colonel. I'll clean this up."_

He was stunned. Of all the people he knew, as the closest ally he had, he had expected her to understand. In fact he had been under the impression that she _had_; his motives were clear from the beginning – why else would she have followed him into this God-forsaken place? _What was she doing?_ She knew full-well that his mind was set on carrying out his revenge. It had been from the moment he'd discovered the truth – before that even, from the moment of Maes Hughes death. _Who was she to stop him? _There was nothing more glorious than this moment. He would not let anything get in the way of his satisfaction – he had finally found the culprit! The_ piece of filth_ that had _dared_ murder his closest friend! This monster had no heart, and _this _was how she was acting? She should have been _prepared_. And yet here he was, gun pressing into his skull steady, solid - she didn't even have the _decency_ to tremor. He was too infuriated to consider her plans, whether or not she was doing to fire the bullet in her disobedience; all he knew was that he was going to unleash his flames until the pathetic excuse for a monster was _nothing but a smudge of grime. _He had been anticipating this moment far too long to let it simply slip through his waiting fingers.

_._

_"What's the meaning of this, Lieutenant? Who do you think you're aiming at?"_

_"Excuse me? You're joking, right?_

_When we're alone, the Colonel always calls me 'Riza'."_

She kept her voice sugary sweet in the beginning, the mocking undertone barely audible but _just _noticeable enough to irk the creature before her. Of course he would not be best pleased to discover that he had been figured out within mere minutes of their meeting but, _really_, she was no fool. She knew her Colonel well and Envy was a fool to think he even stood a chance _attempting_ to disguise himself as the man. It wouldn't go amiss. The mannerisms may be curiously accurate but she knew the man inside-out. True, there was a small part of her bluffing for he didn't seem to quite have been himself when he took his leave but she had full faith in her heart; this imposter didn't have the feel of the man she knew, and there was a lingering anxiety in her gut that there was worse to come than this. As it turned out she had dealt her cards very well indeed.

_._

_"Colonel!"_

_"Stand guard here, Lieutenant! I'll kill him myself!"_

She watched in silence as he made his way through the rubble, following Envy with haste. He eyes remained locked onto him, observing his every mode, until he disappeared into the dark abyss beyond her. If he had truly expected her to follow such an absurd order then he was sadly mistaken. What kind of Lieutenant would she be to allow her beloved Colonel to run off after a monster with her back-up? She had aided him in every other foolish decision to date and she was not going to ruin her track record now, although she did sincerely wish that he would stop to think once and a while. While she had no intention of disrupting his goal, he would need her to bail him out of whatever difficult situation arose – he always had. He would need her to set him straight, to fix any damage he had caused, to be on look-out; _he would need her_. And so, after little more than a minutes wait following his departure, she followed him like the faithful Lieutenant she was.

_._

_"No, Goddamn you!_

_Now drop your gun!"_

* * *

_**Fin.**_


End file.
